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How not to be funny...
I'm not good at jokes. I find connections between things humorous and try to build jokes around them. This rarely works out well, in part because the connections only make sense in my own head.

For instance, I realized this evening that colleges in the US, in response to concerns about over hunting tried to switch to Celluloid Towers, but they had a problem with exploding. Now they have Polyester Towers.

I find this play on "Ivory Tower", and suggesting alternative materials (which were used to replace the ivory in billiard balls) to be amusing, but it's a bit long winded, and I'm afraid it requires too much explanation to be really viable.

So. how not to be funny: write jokes like that.

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(Deleted comment)
That you think like Blaisepascal. You may want to seriously consider consuming cannabis, an heroic dosage of psilocybin mushrooms, or at the very least start drinking. Heavily.

(Deleted comment)
I can't tell, did you mean "proscribed" (i.e. forbidden) or "prescribed" (i.e., ordered, recommended)?

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