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So I walk home from work today. There wasn't a car in the driveway, which was odd. I didn't think skitten was going to be out. So I was a bit surprised to find her at her computer. Which led to the following conversation:

B: Where's the car?
S: What do you mean, where's the car?
B: It isn't in the driveway.
S: Where did you park it?

I parked it at the office, after lunch, when I brought a case of seltzer to work.

I guess I'm taking another walk this evening.

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Better than what i was thinking

What were you thinking?

BTW, I'm at work now, Skitten beside me, and the car is outside, in the parking lot.

You're probably thinking that the car was stolen right out of the driveway, right?

That actually happened to me. Ray bought a used car from his boss at work; he picked it up on a Thursday night in the middle of a cold winter. Boss got on a plane for two weeks in Israel, and Ray parked the car in our driveway. Next morning, I look out, and see that the "new" car is gone. Ray usually walked to the train station, but I figured maybe he'd driven the car for some reason. But I called him at work, and his reaction was "Oh shit!" Yep. It got stolen in the night. We hadn't even had a chance to transfer the insurance or registration or anything.

So I filed a police report, although they said it was unlikely I'd ever see the car again; and (after far too many miscommunications) I managed to reach Boss at his hotel in Israel, for the insurance details. Then I took the key, and used it as the focus of a "calling" spell - basically I told the car to come "home".

A week later the police called. It had been left parked illegally on the other side of the county, and after three tickets it had been towed. The gas tank was empty, the ashtray was full, and the spare tire was gone. Turns out that there was another set of keys in the glove compartment, that we hadn't known about. Apparently some neighborhood teenagers were checking out our "new" car, found the door unlocked, found the spare keys, and went for a "joyride". The cops were surprised that the car was found intact - actually, that it was found at all.

But I know that it came when I called it... ;-D

One of my previous cars was stolen out of my driveway, too. On Sept. 11. Yes, THAT Sept. 11.
I had it in for an oil change and the mechanic threw the spare keys in the glove box, and I totally forgot they were there. I was working nights, and I got up to walk the dog, went outside, and stood there going "WHERE'S MY FUCKING CAR?!?!" Because of what was going on in the world, I couldn't call in to work, I couldn't call the police, nothing. I called my neighbor to see if they had seen anything, and he told me about this guy who was walking up and down the road asking for a ride to the hospital in Middletown, because he worked there and had no way to get to work. He said he was staying in a house down the road. So I KNEW where my car was, but I had no way and no one to get me there.
The next morning, I finally got through to the police, who came and took a report. They left and I was waiting for my mom to come over so we could drive to that hospital and look for the car, when the police called and said, "You're not going to believe this. It's right down the road." So I walked down a ways, one of my neighbors gave me a lift, and when I told him the story, he said that the guy had knocked on his door, too.
So I get to the house where the car is, and this guy is standing at the police car with handcuffs on, some lady is yelling at him, sees me and points to me, still yelling, and says to the trooper "and I don't know who the FUCK SHE is, EITHER!" At which point the trooper tells her I'm the one whose car got stolen, she calms down and apologizes. The trooper asks me to check my car, and everything in it is gone. My portable CD player, CDs, my camping gear, my amulet bag from the glove box, everything. The woman, who was apparently the executrix of the estate of the house's deceased owner, invites me to check the house for my property. We found everything except the CD player, CDs, and amulet bag. At this point, the thief's girlfriend shows up. She's the sister of the executrix. The two of them had been sneaking into the house after the executrix left for work, because the thief was Persona non grata with the family. He told the girlfriend that he had borrowed the car from a friend. She went outside to break up with him and to tell the cops to take him away, and came back to ask me if I had gotten everything back. When I told her what was missing, she remembered the amulet bag and found it for me. I never did get the cd player and cds back, but I'm sure he sold them.
World's stupidest criminal.
I smudged the car very thoroughly once I got it back.
And the truly ironic thing was that the car was a complete piece of shit. I mean, if you kicked it hard, parts fell off. I thought it was theft-proof, that nobody would want such a beater...guess I was wrong.

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