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No holiday gifts from me....
blaisepascal
Yesterday skitten and I went out and she chose gifts from her/us for her family, and today she (with minor assistance from me) wrapped them. The process makes me feel down.

We are behind on our property taxes, and so I've been shoveling as much money as I can into them so that, when January 14th comes, the County doesn't say "You didn't pay your 2005 County Property taxes, so the auction date on your house is....". We've nearly $1000 to go. Between my two paychecks before the deadline, we can make it.

But it leaves me with only $200 or so to live on for the next two weeks, and we have Yule coming up, plus trips to skitten's family, etc. Between gas, food, and so forth, there is barely enough there, and even so I'm worried.

I'm faced with the fact that, despite having a decent job, the holidays are coming around and I can't get my friends and family gifts -- not even token ones. I can't look at sheherazahde's Amazon.com wish-list and drop a book in the mail. I owe Rainbow Darkly for helping me to go to a religious conference I haven't been able to go to in years and I can't pay her back, nor send her a pair of books I know she and her husband will love that I've told her about. bloodsong1 and her family are coming to our house for a Yule celebration next Saturday, and I can't give them gifts. I know gordon92151 is getting me a teapot to replace one she got me years ago which recently broke, and I can't send her anything in return. I'm also faced with (once again) going to skitten's family's holiday celebrations without a gift in hand -- knowing I'm likely to receive gifts in return.

It sucks. I'm a firm believer in spreading my success by giving to those important to me. Not being able to give largesses* to friends and family during this gift-giving season gives me the message that I am not a success, despite my job, my life, etc.

I have one glimmer of hope. We have been informed at work that on this upcoming Friday there will be a company-wide meeting. All I know about it is that the owner of the company isn't saying what it's about, but it's at a local watering hole, I'm getting the "vegetarian" entree for lunch, and happy-hour will follow. It's also supposedly not the holiday party. It's reasonable, in my mind, to hope that year-end bonus cheques will be involved, but it's just a hope which I can't reasonably plan on. Even then, there are more pressing things the (hypothetical) bonus should be spent on.

*The dictionary definition of "largess" is "Liberality in bestowing gifts, especially in a lofty or condescending manner." I can't think of a better word to use, but if anyone can suggest one that doesn't have the connotations implied by the final clause of that definition, I'd love to use it. It certainly isn't my intent.

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I know that I'm particularly grateful for the tax relief that you provide, but Im unfortunately powerless to help your situation....
the presents, other than the dishware for my brother that I intend to pay you back for in January is the only thing that I didn't already have for months & months....
fortunately it's not *too* horribly expensive....
I'm so sorry that I don't have a real job & am able to be more effectve in helping financially :(
It sucks :(

Use lots of smaller words.

I'm sure there's probably a single word out there to fit the definition you are looking for, and since we're two of the smartest people I know, and can't quite come up with one in the short term, what's wrong with just using a bunch of little words that mean exactly what you say than waste brainpower trying to find one word. Just go with:

Not being able to liberally bestow meaningful gifts whenever I want to for friends and family..."

Skip the final clauses of definitions by not having them there at all. Use what you need, discard the rest.

Give from the heart. Material goods are nice and have their meanings too, and those can be given when you can afford them. Some of the best gifts I've gotten from you over the years have been intangible. Your friendship, your wisdom, your advice, your ability to distract me from doing stupid things, to name a few. Just some of the times we've spent together and the conversations we've had can never have a value associated with a dollar value. Books on Buddha work for me.

Re: Use lots of smaller words.

I've still not found anyone else who can play 9 hours of Trivial Pursuit with me at a stretch.

Re: Use lots of smaller words.

Did we ever play 9 hours at one stretch? I know we've had games that lasted longer than that, but did we ever do a single 9 hour stretch? Surely we would have broken for food. But then again, I know that we've been known to take boxes of Trivial Pursuit (which does not abbreviate well) cards with us while breaking for food.

Re: Use lots of smaller words.

We had one game that we started once around 18:00 and finished about 03:00. It was one of those games we had a can of roasted cashews and a 2 liter Coke eack. We may have also eaten prior or after but that part of the memory is fuzzy.

I remember it was shortly after we added the death match portion with the elimination of the 6th available wedge for each subject and introduced the assassin challenge stages.

I'm honestly not sure how much of this I should say, concerned that I may embarrass you, but...

One of the things that I'll always remember about you is that, when you could be, you were more generous with gifts than anyone I knew. I probably remember the gifts I got from you when we were together more than anything - both the GPS unit and the telescope. Indeed, interestingly enough, Cyndi, as the AAVSO job was first discussed, made the comment that I should divest myself of as much as I could in preparation for the move. This included the telescope. "You certainly can't use that in Boston," she said. On a practical level I agreed. But even given that, and even given that an increasing slice of my research is moving toward CCD-based observations which that scope can't do, I won't give it up. I'll never forget getting it as long as I live.

Insofar as the present is concerned, you continually give me my present, every day, as I continue to watch you, slowly, doggedly, with a vast determination, crawl out of one of the worst holes I'd ever seen anyone in.

I know there is a ways to go - this posting proves that - but I've stopped worrying, as I did for some years, that you won't make it. I'm convinced you will, and that's the greatest gift you could give me.

so many of the people on my friends list are in the same straits... and so am i. now, i've been recommending to my friends that they give people handmade gifts, or even IOUs for services. but i'll be spending Xmas with squeektoy42's family... i can't give them homemade presents, and there are no services i can promise them, especially since they live in Rochester and i live in New Jersey. so somehow i've got to come up with gifts for my in-laws-in-law... and i don't even know what they want. (of course, last year they gave me a fruit basket...)


Okay.

Wishlists notwithstanding - IF you even think of sending Kory & I a pressie OR FEEL GUILTY about NOT sending a pressie, so help me I will find a way to smack you.

Does that help? *G*

Seriously, Bu - the most present I "expect" is to maybe find you online on saturday for the Long Night chat.

That's it.

*hugs* I have been where you are and I know several people besides you & Kaaren who are in similar straits. Don't worry about it.



I know how you feel. When I was your age I felt the same way. Just getting through daily life was such a struggle and when this time of year came around I always felt so bad that I wasn’t able to do more…for everyone I loved and for you especially. Things do get better. They got better for me and they will get better for you too. As far as going to Skitten’s family without a gift goes; please try not to feel bad. You have been giving them the gift of enabling their daughter to stay in the house she loves. If the shoe were on the other foot, if Skitten had been using the vast majority of her paycheck to pay the back taxes so you could stay in your house, I would feel I had been given a wonderful and generous gift. I’m sure her parents feel the same way. They know she loves where she lives and that she couldn’t be there without you. The care and support you are giving their child on an ongoing basis is a greater gift than anything you could put under a tree.

First of all, *HUGS*.

Second of all, I feel you. The last time I was able to spend Yule the way I wanted to was two years ago. The time before that, three years prior, and only because I was in a car wreck on the way to Vegas, so the money I had saved for that trip went into presents instead.

I can't get you or any of my friends/family/coworkers gifts. I mailed out cards for the out of state family. Sometimes a well-written card says more then a present. Consider that for Skitten's relatives, if you HAVE to have something in hand. Or consider food gifts, since you have to eat anyway. Baking supplies are on massive sale right now.

We'll see you Saturday with food gifts of our own. ^_^

My family is just doing baked goods this year.

I certainly can't afford anything else.

But flour and sugar are cheap.

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