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Upstate NY
blaisepascal
A coworker sent this to me. I doubt Jeff Foxworthy was the original author, though. My comments in italics

Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Upstate New Yorkers.


* If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you may live in up state New York.
I've not seen a Dairy Queen, but I dispair that most road-side ice cream stands are closed now

* If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in up state New York.

* If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in up state New York.
Done that

* If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with some one who dialed a wrong number, you may live in up state New York.

* If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of Albany for the weekend, you may live in up state New York.
I live south of Albany. 3 hours west, but still south....

* If you measure distance in hours, you may live in up state New York.
See above

* If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in up state New York.
In the past year I've been in a car that ran over a deer carcass, and I nearly hit one tonight on the thruway. Does that count?

* If you have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again, you may live in up state New York.
Yep. However I like it cold so I'm more likely to just leave the heat off and turn the A/C on and off

* If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you may live in up state New York.
In the passing lane, down hill, through a left-hand curve, under an overpass no less. Of course, I flinched afterwards...

* If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in up state New York .

* If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in up state New York.

* If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit,
you may live in up state New York.

* If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you may live in up state New York.
Done that.

*If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you may live in up state New York.
Yep

*If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you may live in up state New York.
In a college town it's different: It's almost winter, winter, scantily-clad of both genders, and road construction, but in general, yeah

* If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you may live in up state New York.

* If you find 10 degrees F "a little chilly", you may live in upstate New York.
Um... guilty?

* If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your up state New York friends & others, you definitely live in upstate New York
Uhhhhh.....

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And if you measure distance in minutes, you are probably from Long Island. And I have had two deer hit ME!

They don't have Dairy Queens there? (They do in Buffalo)

I've rendered assistance in Home Depot. In MD, in fact. Mostly because I can read signs.

Distance in hours is a pretty usual metric over here, too.

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